Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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