Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
