Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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