no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
