chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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