the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
