They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
