and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
