My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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