And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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