Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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