stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
