I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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