I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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