So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
