You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
