she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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