who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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