I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize