So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
