in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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