YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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