She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
