I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
