Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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