Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
