found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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