Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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