this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
