No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
