our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Randomize
