I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
