Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
