In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
