wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
