I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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