I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Randomize
