Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
His hands were made for my vagina.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
