Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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