Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
