Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
