The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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