i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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