Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
