He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
