I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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