Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
