k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize