you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
