Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
