Non-Jews are for practice
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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