She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She's the barista slut.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
