oh god the rape fog is back!
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
