I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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