Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
