Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Randomize
