It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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