who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
