Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
