i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize