THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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