How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
