shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I would fuck him just for his dog
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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