I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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